Complaints Connoisseur Pillows

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

Visiting the complaints department.

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

Complaints departement for men and women.

Sculptor's chippings

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Moanathon.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"