Complaint Whisperer T-Shirts

'Oh quit complaining, Thomas...at least we got a loaner!'

'The manager will see you now.'

'Now, what's your complaint?'

"I'm sorry...I need to speak with someone with a little authority around here."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Complaints Desk

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

These remarks are completely off the record

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

Awkward customers.

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

Nature Magnified

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

'Marvin Quinn - Attorney at Law - Jury Whisperer.'

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

Moan Pig.

Poor Customer Service

'You walked through the park to get here, didn't you, Modom?'