Complaint King/queen Pillows

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

Any time is cake o'clock

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Whine and cheezed party."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints Desk

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

"That's the Ommbudsman."

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

Moanathon.

'This decaf's lousy.'

'That'll be the tenth time Columbus has visited the virgin islands this week.'

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Bob's whine cellar.

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.