Competitive Strategists T-Shirts

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

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'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."