Corporate Strategists T-Shirts

"It was right here where we put the entire department of steroids."

'That's it? That's your backup plan?'

Hatfield and McCoy International battle.

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"That's not profit that's the cost of having to turn them off."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

'These gentlemen are here to address mistakes we may have made, where we are now, and what the future holds.'

'Our product development department thinks this will help the board better identify with our product users.'

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

"This is our Head of Transformation and Change, Doctor Jekyll."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."