Competition Strategist T-Shirts

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

"...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?"

How to win before the match begins

'I could be wrong, but I think Frank brought in a ringer.'

Jack didn't realize his trusted friend had other motives for the prize money.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Robot Parts $5

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?