Competitive Strategist T-Shirts

'We tried it your way and continue to lose market share. It's time you let me take a shot at it.'

"Oh, it always starts politely."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Damn it, Henderson, New York is still three hours ahead of us. Get on that!"

'CHECKMATE!'

'Focus Now, Focus!'

"Gentlemen, we are now playing hardball."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

World Championships Tungsten Rubik's Cube

Boss ... We haven't had a customer all day. Not since Coffee King lowered their prices. Not a problem, minion. I have a feeling Coffee King is about to be closed due to an anonymous call to the health inspector. I have a feeling some anonymous patron is going to have found rat droppings in the asbestos Coffee King wraps its month-old tuna fish in. I can't believe even you would do something that underhanded, boss. I don't know what you're talking about.

"Is that an illegal move, Dear"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"