Competitive Jollymaker Gifts

Our life is better than yours Christmas letters

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Danth battle?

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Elf of the Month

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Snowman throws snowball at Santa.

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Maybe this year..."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

C is for Cracker

Santa School.

Skateboard Olympics.

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."