Competition Clown Pillows

Runner going through hurdles.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

How are you at decision making?

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Tennis ball girl.

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

Loser's Podium.

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

Skateboard Olympics.

Box.

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'

"What did I learn in school today, I learned my teacher has no sense of humor."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

"Sorry Pardner, but this is fool's gold!"

'I told you Ko-ko that you don't have to even think of retirement - the phone stopped ringing for you years ago!'

Triplets? Uh oh, we're going to need a smaller car.

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

'You're arrogant, pig-headed and have no communication skills -have you thought of a career in intelligence?'

Javelin

'See??. . . No such thing as monsters in the closet. . . or evil clowns under the bed. . . Now, try and get some sleep little one!!'

'Actually, we're looking for someone who's willing to start at the bottom and stay there.'

'He's out cold. Someone fetch a felt marker so I can draw something on his face.'

Working on my resume.