Competing With Investors T-Shirts

"We're looking for someone who can help us keep up with the Dow Joneses."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

The Victors

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'You turned the company around. Unfortunately, it wasn't our company.'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

Run, Mike, Run!

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'A market ruled by only three companies is bad for the customers and it puts down development and innovation. I would be a strong opponent to such a market, if I didn't own all three companies.'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

Business plan.

Fight on the top

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'The plan was idiot-proof. Unfortunately, someone came up with a superior idiot.'

Shareholder's Meetings

Loser's Podium.

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"