Compact Living T-Shirts

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Hoodie Hang-out

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Sick Building Syndrome

Can't even hold signs well.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

Doubledecker bus stop

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

From Here You Can See Bugger All

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"You like it? We purchased the fourth wall from 'Westworld'."

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'