Commute Joker Gifts

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

The next fast train has gone.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Take me home now!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Trapeze artists commuting

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

How do fish get to work?

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

'Backseat driver...'

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

No petting in the pool!

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

Theme Park 'n' Ride

The bus home.

"And the dim fluorescent lighting is meant to emphasize the general absence of hope."

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

Knight in the Elevator

"Yes, yes, but it’s only an hour from Manhattan."

'I don't like this. . .'

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

Hi honey, I'm on the plinth.

"I just want to learn enough to be able to survive the train to work."

Bus Stop Evolution

Brendan suddenly realizes it was a mistake posting 'Susan, will you marry me?' to the stadium's jumble tron.

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'