Community Vigilante T-Shirts

Social Discipline.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Beware of God"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

Planner at work.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

"The jocks bullied me in gym class, so I erased all the data on their computers. They should know never to mess with a computer geek."

When CAN we talk?

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

'You have voted, yes! Have your SHEEP voted!'

'Yes...in retrospect I DO regret not protesting against the new by-pass'

WPC

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

'Since you're new here, let me give you a tip: Never, EVER, look under the chairs!'

Computer Crimes

Rose Bowl Lawsuit

"Neighborhood Watch anti-violence meeting. Be there or else."

Even with the new freedom of information act I can't tell you if that woman at number 28 is really only 76...

Neighbourhood watch with mother