Community News Pillows

Woman over garden fence: 'I've invented some new gossip I'd like circulating.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"Thank you."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

Up-to-the-minute reporting from our man on the street.

'It's a great, safe neighbourhood: The owner of the house is allergic to cats...'

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'

The Neighborhood at a Glance

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"And in local news, somebody pooped on the Jenkins' lawn again."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

The Original Information Superhighway

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

Vikings trying to get in - "Calm yourselves the jumble sale doesn't start for another five minutes."

'..Bert Higgins,O.A.P..'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community