Community Dynamics Fan Pillows

'There was a petition to kick me out of the colony at night because I snore...'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

A child as a pet substitute.

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

You never caw.

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

The Shepherd's Staff. . .

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

Audience with the Parent

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

Mom's Mortuary

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

'I love all of your brothers and sisters, but you're my favorite.'