Community Diners Pillows

"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'A cheeky red?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

La Table

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"