Family Diners Pillows

"Yes we are a child-friendly restaurant. That's Igor, the owner's son, who will entertain your children while you eat."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Can I have flies with that'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"You've all been like a company to me."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"Fridge-to-table"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'