Community Detective T-Shirts

Neighbourhood Watch.

"They grow up so fast."

$1: Family Secrets

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Science and Coronavirus

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'The first test was false-positive, the second test was false-negative. What are you trying to pull?'

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

You're right, Mr. Fusco. Your health insurance does cover pre-existing conditions. So, honestly, how long have you been a wolverine?

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

'You're an inspector now?'

Yesterday you lost your sheep and suddenly, today, Mary next door has a little lamb... Pretty big coincidence is all I'm sayin'.

'There's something wrong here. You have all these risk factors, and yet you're in excellent health.'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"Today the CIA investigated the FBI's investigation of the IRS' investigation of Trump."

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

Golf Crime Scene.

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

"Mr. Bermudez passed out and hit his head, but that'll heal."

What's mom's deal? She thinks we lie to her. Careful with the work "we," my little peck. Girls never lie. That was a whopper!

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

Jose Manuel Villarejo Scandal

'We haven't had much luck finding your ancestors. But we did manage to trace that suit you're wearing all the way back to the early 80's.'

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

'It appears that our competitors have gotten their hands on our confidential files...I'm afraid we may have a mole in this office!'

Huffison never discovered the source of security leaks within his company.