Communications Provider Pillows

Wolf to howling wolf: 'Wow! Great signal! Who's your communications provider?'

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"