Communication Quirks Admirer Gifts

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

'How are we spelling Dear?'

'Mr. Dobson, you don't have to dictate into the intercom, I'm sitting in the room with you.'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

Computer Address Book.

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

'You must be the angel of the north.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

"She started it."

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

"This is Ms. Watkins, a vital member of our greet staff."

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"