Communication Quirk Appreciator Pillows

'How are we spelling Dear?'

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

"U R like so ded!"

"We're going to have to do something about the suspension on this thing!"

"I notice the Apaches are using a new font."

NHS England to ensure all GPs can work from home if isolating.

"Are you binge watching again?"

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

the bad news is she has worms. The good news is they're earworms.

"Walt won't be at work today - he's flipped on his back!"

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.

'It's for you.'

"Could you watch my elephant while I nip out a minute?"

'Oh, your mouth is saying 'Bow wow', Dolores, but your eyes are saying 'Woof'!'

A chemist misunderstanding the request of a lady after a way to clean gloves.

'When I asked 'whether you thought you could bring the team with you'? I didn't mean to our preliminary confidential off-the-record exploratory chat!'

'He prefers old-style communications - Yelling at you.'

'Are you giving me the silent treatment? I can't tell.'

Ninja vs. the invisible man. . . or is the cartoonist just bein' lazy?

Do you have to smack your tongue when you chew? Says the guy who spits his fingernails everywhere. Peccadilloes.

You know, so many women these days break up with me in an impersonal text on my smart phone … I want to thank you for breaking up with me by calling me on my land line.

Trump to Yo Semites

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, then when I get bored I revert to being me."

"Say, 'Tissue? I hardly know you,' but don't tell her you're a roll of toilet paper."

'You've never cohabitated with an antipodal ding bat have you?'