Communication Breakdown Afficionado Gifts

If pharmacists spoke like doctors wrote.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

Computer Address Book.

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

'Text your leader and tell him I'm here.'

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

Bird Messaging

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

"She started it."

"Don't forget to ask their e-mail address."