Communication Analyst T-Shirts

'Unconfirmed reports suggest that there may have been a breakdown in communication.'

"We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontational verbal interfacing."

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

"Yeah, it's amazing technology and all. . .But now that everybody has one, nobody communicates directly with each other any more."

'...I think you've really lost your perspective.'

"I meant the dog!"

"I'm boycotting Twitter. I'm just reading it. I'm not posting anything on it."

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

Simpler Times Before The Internet

"I just feel like it's important NOT to make good eye contact when communicating."

'Men should never travel without a translator.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

'When I texted you all regarding the manner in which he died, I was disappointed by how many of you responded with 'lol'.'

"Did you just wink at me?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Press Freedom

"You know, there are other emojis."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Changing Minds

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"