Conversation Analysts T-Shirts

'So, how was your day?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I meant the dog!"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

The psychiatrist.

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'