Conversation Analysts T-Shirts

Would you like to go for a walk, Lars? Something about this conversation seems very, very wrong.

'So, how was your day?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"I meant the dog!"

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

The psychiatrist.

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'