Commitment Consultants T-Shirts

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

'No, but thanks for asking.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

Monogamy

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

Marriage & Divorce.

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

'And promise to love each other through constant drama, bad judgment, poor choices and self-delusion?'

"I did say I wanted to get married, but that was a false positive."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We chose to get married before living together.'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

'I now pronounce you husband vs. wife.'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"And where exactly is Timbuktu?"

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'You're nice, but I'll need to run your proposal by my attorney, accountant, web master,job coach and HMO.'