Commercial Strategy Gifts

Zombie Corn Maze

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Robot Parts $5

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

A fight in the Boardroom.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"