Commercial Strategy Gifts

Zombie Corn Maze

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Robot Parts $5

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

A fight in the Boardroom.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."