Commercial Satire Admirer Gifts

Undertakers' supermarket.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Hot cross buns

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Football heads...

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

A Gated Community.

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'