Comment Section Spectator Prints

You're always chastising Rudy for using the web, yet here you are. How do you explain yourself? Something magical happened. I saw a small child break into tears at this computer and run away. I came to see what happened. That's when I discovered it. The comments section beneath a news article. A wonderland of mockery, bitterness and good old-fashioned blood feuds. Is that Sadie hugging that computer? Let's talk about something else.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"And Rooney's stretchered off the pitch after managing to stick his foot in his mouth..."

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

Leftie Trump

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

"Long time commenter, first time reader. . ."

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

Bad business inc.

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

"It's not as if I invented the food chain."

The Limits of Satire

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

"Is there a section at the bottom for comments?"

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

Home mortgages and government bailouts.

"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."

'Ooh look, you've got a free lucky horseshoe with your giant meatballs.'

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

'Big Udder is Watching'

'I am not lactose intolerant! Some of my best friends are dairy-based products.'

'Could you tidy your place up a bit? - I've got some first time buyers coming round this afternoon.'

"Soylent Green Puppy Food’ is doggie!"

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."