Coming-out Advisor Gifts

"Mum, Dad, I'm gay" "Thank god" "We thougth you were in boyzone

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"My computer just texted me."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

Sid Sinatra.

Hollywood Breakup

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."