Coming-out Advisor Gifts

"Mum, Dad, I'm gay" "Thank god" "We thougth you were in boyzone

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"My computer just texted me."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Hollywood Breakup

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'