Coming-of-age Party Gifts

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Face painting by numbers.

Little Princess.

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Green Balloon

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

Children's Party

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Kids with Fish Balloons

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Big Bang Theory.

A Woman Holding Canapes

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Children playing games

Bee costume

'Guess how many I ATE.'

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.