Comically Inclined T-Shirts

'You must be joking, surely you've got change for 50p.'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I said slime."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Ask A Silly Question.

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Sheep striptease'.

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

Snowman Tattoo

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

Starbucks Siren

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"What fly?"

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).