Comical Senior Moments Appreciator Pillows

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

James Bond: Senior Years.

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"My memory's not too good these days."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Life begins at 60

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"How's your memory?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Those speedbumps are there for a reason, Mrs. Gunderson."

'It's my prostate.'

Toxic Relationship

At the Old Bikers' Home

Bus. Routes. Time used to be on my side, now it's at my back and pushing.

'Now where did I put that cape?'

The Name Brain