Comical Injury Taker Pillows

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

Basketball injuries.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'It's an old work injury.'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Stretcher Header.

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Occupation?'

'Should we abstain from sex?'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'Very funny!'

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'No I won't kiss it better!'

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

'He tried to jump over the net.'