Sports Injury Comic Pillows

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

Alternative fielding positions

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

'It's an old work injury.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Tennis players.

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Occupation?'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'... Bailey, squashed. Monroe, legs ripped off. Gutierrez,squashed. Sengelmann, squashed. Binegar, legs ripped off...'

'Very funny!'

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

Pitchers arm falls off.

"Wonderful holiday! Two-weeks skiing really makes you feel like a new man!"

'No I won't kiss it better!'

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

'He tried to jump over the net.'

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to get, I'm actually a good hockey player."

'So in hindsight, maybe not the best idea...'

Cricketers

'The fight hasn't started yet. He tripped over the rope getting into the ring.'