Comical Healthcare Critic Gifts

'Doctor does my policy also include injuries from sharp little arrows?!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'