Comic Strip Nerd Gifts

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

Grace For Flies

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Fly Football

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'No ice.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Fish hunting for men.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Bless You."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

The prying mantis,

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"