Comic Strip Lover Pillows

"I told you to wear sunscreen."

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Kathy's hot flashes were becoming severe.

"What a Christmas! First the North Pole melts, then all the elves get laid off."

Since cutting their market research budget management had to find alternative ways of planning their marketing strategy.

'Now don't go out if it's windy.'

"Okay, calm down. That's not whistling. They're wheezing."

'These graphs represent productivity between free-range and cubicled workers.'

"I'm sorry, but we've traced the negative influence back to you."

Performance reviews in Hell.

"I believe they're a debt collection agency."

"The tests show you have an overactive grumpy gene."

Quality Control

'The nurse broke the other one when I tried to get fresh with her.'

'Sorry, Rudolph, we can't let you join in any reindeer games... You've tested positive for steroids.'

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

'It took you three years to build it. I'll have it down in 15 minutes.'

"I came as quickly as I could."

"You're what we call 'in de Nile.'

Copy Machine Reproduces Men

"Alright nurse, send him in but this better be a matter of life and death!"

'I agree O-positive is rather nice, but my favourite by far is AB-negative...'

'Household water use'

'Yes... Now I see - no pocket. So perhaps the glove is defective.'

Humour research Project

"Everybody thinks I'm in rehab."

Fish verses bird perspective.

'When your application said that your name was Harrison Ford, quite frankly I'd expected something different!'

'Vodka!'

'Sorry, we don't treat stab wounds.'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'Now keep your mouth shut. This is our last ball.'

"Why don't you try one before you start comparing them to oranges?"

'You're my hero! Course, my dad says your willingness to save anyone at no cost perpetuates the pervasive, liberal welfare-state culture.'