Comic Relief Crusader Pillows

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Work. The Era of Big Government And Handouts is Over.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Critisize your weight.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Super Heroes.

My God, I need to fart.

"Eat me"

No littering...

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

What do you suggest we do about this?

Obama Healthcare.