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"I'm willing to try you out. But you'll have to give up the whole cat thing."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

No-Work Orange

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

The Food Chain

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

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