Comic Humor Gifts

Rise and shine

"Sheriff, Have you heard that Billy the Kid's coming to town?"

'Didn't I read somewhere that too much red meat isn't good for you?'

Starbucks closing 600 stores with 12,000 job cuts.

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Look! No hands!"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Emergency Phone.

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

The Goalkeeper

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Shaved Ice

Dog training

'Snap out of it.'

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Straight on, you can't miss it.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"I'll have dessert first."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

"Then again, maybe the fourth green is that way."

Senseless clowning around

Promised Land Signpost

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"