Comic Humor Gifts

Rise and shine

"Sheriff, Have you heard that Billy the Kid's coming to town?"

'Didn't I read somewhere that too much red meat isn't good for you?'

Starbucks closing 600 stores with 12,000 job cuts.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Look! No hands!"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Emergency Phone.

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

The Goalkeeper

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

Shaved Ice

Jim Carrey,

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Dog training

'Snap out of it.'

John Cleese.

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"I'll have dessert first."

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'Straight on, you can't miss it.'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

Senseless clowning around

Promised Land Signpost

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

"Then again, maybe the fourth green is that way."