Comic Garden Enthusiast T-Shirts

'You've never planted potatoes before, have you?'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Better Gnomes.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

Crazy paving company.

Avoid Constant Borrowing

"Lift your stems."

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

Square Yard

Topiary: helping nature look her best

Give Chlorophyll.

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

Redneck Flowerpot

Adam and eve do their laundry,

Do not abuse the Lawn

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

The festive season brings it's own interesting little chores...and well earned rewards.

The garden of Bedlam

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

"Here's a less known Jane Austen novel that you might enjoy. It's about carpentry and lawn care, called 'Fence and Fencibility."

'Who greased our slope?'