Comic Garden Enthusiast Gifts

'You've never planted potatoes before, have you?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Crazy paving company.

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

Give Chlorophyll.

Topiary: helping nature look her best

"Lift your stems."

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

Square Yard

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

Avoid Constant Borrowing

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

Adam and eve do their laundry,

Do not abuse the Lawn

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

The festive season brings it's own interesting little chores...and well earned rewards.

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

"Here's a less known Jane Austen novel that you might enjoy. It's about carpentry and lawn care, called 'Fence and Fencibility."

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

'Who greased our slope?'

The garden of Bedlam

'That's my idea patch.'

Plants and Flowers Crack Jokes.