Comic Cork-popper T-Shirts

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Wino Appreciation Group

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"Can we discuss this?"

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

A little fizz?

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

Hungry rabbit attacking carrot nose of snowman.

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

"Actually, Father, it's teddy who has to confess....he was nervous about coming in here alone."

"Isn't that Hank's mask?"

"Do I get double bubble Sundays?"

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"Do I have one too?"

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

'It's pure psychology - as soon as I've finished my sermon on coverting wives and wordly goods. Get the collection plates round'.

Pope fed by nasal tub.

"The preacher's getting a 'big head'. He's calling the congregation his 'extras'."