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'I'm sorry, but you've outgrown this cartoon panel!'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Projectile hairballing."

Jim Carrey,

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

John Cleese.

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

'You made me jump,'

Spike Milligan

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

A new case, Ernie...On a lark, two young girls broke into a museum and stole a half-dozen Peter Breugel paintings of Hades. Chicks nick six styx pics for kicks!

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

Woody Allen

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

Comedy course highlights fake nose

Alan Carr

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

Hungry rabbit attacking carrot nose of snowman.

Dawn French.

"No, no, it's certainly not a Gerwurztrameiner; that's too far north."

Crime section.

'You said he wasn't a dirty comedian. This guy is filthy!'

'I'm a Fringe performer.'

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

'So to recap Mr Oblonsky, I think our firm could help your crime syndicate enormously in expanding it's UK business.'

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"Your speech made the Wall Street Journal and Comedy Central."