Comfortable Lounger Prints

"He claims she's frigid. She says he's too stingy to heat the waterbed."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'She'll never look for me here.'

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

"How?"

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Champagne and Oysters

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

Rest distracted by moles.

'Well played, sir.'

Custer's last tan.