Comedy Sleuths Gifts

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

A boy acting suspiciously

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"So who is this First pet?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

JET (Part I)

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Computer Crimes

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

Missing Easter Egg

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

'That damn racial scandal.'

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

CIA Recommended TVs