Comedy Skits Gifts

Balloons and the Hedgehog

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Paging for a Doctor

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

Joe Hundredaire

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

What teachers want to say.

'Good news! That spot is B-9!'

"Fool, I said a spotted one."

'Seriously! Have you ever considered spray tan?'

Feeding The Lions At The Zoo

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Leave the toilet."