Social Skit Enthusiast Gifts

"How was your weekend?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"You know, there are other emojis."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Paging for a Doctor

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

Joe Hundredaire

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

'The peasants aren't so bad, Son -- it's the bourgeoisie that's so darn judgmental!'

"Worm puree? No, it seems the old lady was sh*tfaced again last night!"

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.