Comedy Skit Creators T-Shirts

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

Paging for a Doctor

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

'I, pink, therefore, I ham...'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

Joe Hundredaire

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

"Congratulations! It's a sitcom!"

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"

"Fool, I said a spotted one."

'Seriously! Have you ever considered spray tan?'

Feeding The Lions At The Zoo

Blood Donor Centre

"'Moors? I thought you said 'Ye Old Pour Me More Tavern'... Is that a new dress? Wait, why are there two of you? Okay, let's dance... Where's Dracula?'"

"Leave the toilet."

"Do I really have to add 'Just kidding' after everything I say?"

Balloons and the Hedgehog

Indoor firework in bathroom called Flash-In-The-Pan.

"Budget cuts. We replaced the scythes with sporks. Now let's get goin'."

'The job is yours if you're willing to shave.'

Pet bird on a lead.

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

"Well, actually, the early birds get the early-rising, older worms! Personally, I prefer the juicier teenage worms who don't usually rise until mid to late morning..."