Comedy Relief Seeker Pillows

'Give a man enough rope. . .'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Clown on bike.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Eat me"

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Super Heroes.

My God, I need to fart.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

No littering...

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"