Comedy Relief Seeker Pillows

Fuel prices are outrageous. Its pure price gouging. People are furious. I won't stand idly by. I'm taking action! But you love seeing consumers exploited. Right. That's why I don't want to be left out. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. This end up.

'Give a man enough rope. . .'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Clown on bike.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"Eat me"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

My God, I need to fart.

Super Heroes.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

The Alpha Seltzer